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#1: Ahm Saw-wee
 PansyPalmetto member not displaying online status
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Home: Sacramento, CA 
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posted 11/22/2006
at 3:22:05 PM
viewed 9032 times
Oh, I could just DIE.....DIE!....from the humutilation! I accidentally mistyped some mileage in my journal and suddenly I shot up to #1 of Bike Journal! Then my phone just started ringing off the hook: Lance; Jahn; Greg; Floyd; Kincannondale; HRLaughed......EVERYONE wanted my training tips, autograph (HR [such a punk] was holding out a blank check), photo-ops, etc.

When I realized I had made a typo I feared the worst. Yes...
...the MODERATORS showed up at my door with Federal Marshalls and some Canadians. We are on our third pitcher of Pomegranate Martinis and having quite a fun party. They gave me keys to various cities, a HUGE TROPHY, a darling sash, tiara, gift certificate to Tutus4U and a Brand, Spanking, New Krate.

I am NOT #666.......I AM NUMBER ONE. Don't know how to do a screen shot, however, so it'll just be my word against all y'all's! I'll take off the *accidental* miles in a bit. How about if I take a photo with my camera of my screen? Will the glare obliterate my #1 status? I wonder if the 1-hour film developers are open? Do they still take film from Brownie cameras?


PUBLIC NOTICE: Based on tips from bikejournal members across the USA, Bikejournal Anti-Doping Agency (BJADA) agents from our West Coast office arrived at Mrs. Palmetto's Sacramento residence tonight at 8:43PM PST. All bicycles and spare tires on the premises where seized for immediate forensic testing. Our BJADA lab technicians will perform a throughout analysis of tread wear and cross reference this information with purchase receipts to determine total mileage. Until a final ruling is made in this case, all bulk miles for Mrs. Palmetto will be black listed. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation as we pursue truth and justice in this matter.

slantz
thread edited on 11/22/2006 at 9:57:39 PM

 BryanG member offline
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posted 11/22/2006
at 6:45:15 PM
post #11 viewed 1671 times
Pom Marts ARE my training secret! I called my elderly baby sister JUST NOW and ska-wheezed the recipe out'n her:
-- posted by PansyPalmetto


OHHH... My wife is SOOOO thanking you this Thanksgiving. They look delightful (if HUGE).

Cheers,
Bryan

 zcubed member offline
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posted 11/22/2006
at 8:07:08 PM
post #12 viewed 1673 times
RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!!

 fdul member offline
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Home: West Chester, PA 
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West Chester Cycling Club
posted 11/22/2006
at 8:29:45 PM
post #13 viewed 1662 times
www.westchestercycling.com/PDF/BJStandings.pdf



Hi Pansy

The link above will let you see that particular Standing any time you want.
post edited on 11/22/2006 at 8:29:27 PM

 Wjacobyansky member offline
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posted 11/22/2006
at 8:32:42 PM
post #14 viewed 1663 times
I don't know what you're all laughing about. I'm calling WADA right now to have her testosterone level checked. This could do to Bike Journal what Landis, Ulrich, and Basso did to professional biking. Oh the humiliation. Now I'll have to lie and tell people I meet in the street that I'm not affiliated with BJ and in fact I don't even log my miles at all. It's the only way to not get tainted. I thought PP just did one of the gutsiest rides in BJ history and to find out now that its a farce now has destroyed my faith in what has been considered the last bastion of bicycling integrity. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to condem until she has had a chance to defend herself in front of the regulating bodies. I hope this doesn't mean that I'll have to give a DNA sample before logging on to BJ in the future!

 IndyBikerDoc member offline
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Home: Indianapolis, IN 
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posted 11/22/2006
at 8:42:22 PM
post #15 viewed 1675 times
Not so fast, my friends. Maybe PPs newly purchased magic shorts worked like Dorothy's ruby slippers, transporting her through the entire 42,000 mile sojourn while appearing to register a scant 0.42 miles:

There was a Palmetto quite bright
Who could travel at the speed of light
She departed one day
In an Einsteinian way
And returned on the previous night!

Gotta get me some magic bibs....

 Slow_Moe member not displaying online status
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posted 11/22/2006
at 9:07:47 PM
post #16 viewed 1668 times
I'm pretty sure she's the real deal. I know a guy that knows her elderly baby sister's accountant and he says that she says that he says she rides every where she goes.

 mary9761 member not displaying online status
view my blog
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posted 11/22/2006
at 9:27:47 PM
post #17 viewed 1652 times
Yikes, Looks like Howardoldersis rode 2000 miles tonight with a broken bike and knocked you outta first place Pansy!

 Gnu member offline
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posted 11/22/2006
at 9:27:51 PM
post #18 viewed 1661 times
I heard that they discovered frozen bags of Pomegranate Martinis in a veterenarian's office in Barcelona. Local authorities and former waitstaff at Fawlty Towers are investigating. The latest pronouncement at PEZ says they're calling it Operation Tutu.

 slantz member offline
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posted 11/22/2006
at 9:59:47 PM
post #19 viewed 1652 times
PUBLIC NOTICE: Based on tips from bikejournal members across the USA, Bikejournal Anti-Doping Agency (BJADA) agents from our West Coast office arrived at Mrs. Palmetto's Sacramento residence tonight at 8:43PM PST. All bicycles and spare tires on the premises where seized for immediate forensic testing. Our BJADA lab technicians will perform a throughout analysis of tread wear and cross reference this information with purchase receipts to determine total mileage. Until a final ruling is made in this case, all bulk miles for Mrs. Palmetto will be black listed. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation as we pursue truth and justice in this matter.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Slantz

 Howard member not displaying online status
Lifetime: 79,694 mi
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Home: Parker, CO 
LeMond Zurich
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posted 11/22/2006
at 10:10:25 PM
post #20 viewed 1655 times
While one may not agree with the BJADA laws, you gotta respect the uniform! Lookin' mighty fine there, Slantz, er... I mean Officer Slantz.

whispered aside: So who do you suppose squealed on Pansy? This could sow serious distrust among the BikeJournalists unless we root them out immediately!
post edited on 11/22/2006 at 11:08:55 PM
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